Observations on my first 1 hour or so with the game:
- Supposedly takes place in the USA, but everything looks like Iceland.
- Lots of cutscenes so far, which look fantastic.
- The dialog is completely nonsense, delivered with stunning conviction from the voice actors.
- Names of characters I’ve encountered so far: Deadman, Die-Hardman, and Heartman.
- You get a rating after delivering a package, just like Uber Eats, presumably.
- Invisible acid hand print monsters that are blind but can detect breathing? Best to avoid.
- I don’t like that there is a blood sugar gauge, with the implication that I need to keep an eye on it. I want cookies.
- So far I’ve delivered some drugs, the corpse of my mother, more drugs, and I built a post office tube.
- I don’t like the monsters in this game, the pseudo-stealth mechanism distracts me from my deliveries.
- The fetus I carry around with me in a plastic container on my chest is funny. I think it’s supposed to help me avoid monsters.
- Too much freaking text to read. I am sure I missed important instructions.
- Seems like an open world, but I’m not sure how much exploring the game expects me to do; as opposed to just heading straight for the delivery locations.
- So far, I don’t hate it. Print that on the box cover.
This is me bare-chested in a cave with Lea Seydoux (I forgot her character name but it’s probably on the nose). Eagle-eyed, longtime readers may notice that it looks nothing like Shaw from Elden Ring.
See? Iceland.
Dead cetaceans and some naked butt.
Oh, this is me burning up the corpse of my mother the former president of America before she explodes and leaves a massive crater (because that’s what happens with dead bodies in this game unless you incinerate them within 48 hours.)
