- Spent 15 minutes creating a character which I cannot actually see because of the outfit.
- I died before even seeing my first enemy by jumping off a cliff because these weird white ghost thingies were doing it and I assumed I was supposed to follow.
- Almost missed the tutorial section because I had just learned the hard way that jumping off cliffs into the unknown is a bad idea (see previous point).
- Spent the next 15 minutes trying to kill what I assumed was a boss, but was actually just the last enemy in the tutorial. Had to look up how to do it on YouTube. I somehow missing the instructions on equipping a shield and was wondering why block was not working (see last point, below).
- After multiple further attempts, I finally killed him, but I also died at the same time. Although thankfully, he didn’t respawn.
- Exited the tutorial, saw a horse guy in the distance, so I gave him a wide berth, and found a save point on a nearby hill.
- Finally, spent 10 minutes looking for an option to make the on-screen text size bigger, which apparently doesn’t exist because I guess that would ruin the purity of their artistic vision.
Overall, I would say this first attempt left me sad and depressed, so I went to play What Remains of Edith Finch for an hour to cheer myself up. On the plus side, I’m now in the correct frame of mind for emo night; glass half-full and all that.
