- After a well-deserved rest, Shaw decided to set forth once again into the world of The Land Between with a renewed sense of optimism and confidence.
- Started off by visiting a nearby soldier camp, sneaking around and stealthily stabbing everyone in the back, AC-style. Saw a bigger soldier with a big shield and decided to save him for last.
- Died instantly.
- Remembered I have magic health potions, so I tried again, and switched to a spear weapon instead of drinking my potion. Died again.
- Decided to figure out what the runes do, and upgraded my health to level 17.
- Fought the head solider again, could not figure out how to drink the potion, so I paused to look up the controls. Died again.
- The game does not pause apparently.
- Tried a few more times, died a few more times. Finally decide, fuck it, going back to foraging.
- Found a map piece. I was hoping it would show me where the save points are, but instead it just makes the map prettier? Still a win I guess.
- Saw two huge dudes dragging a cart down the road. NOPE.
- Saw a big crab in a bog. NOPE.
- Wandered into a copse full of goats and a disembodied child’s voice pleading for help.
- Goats would roll away, Sonic The Hedgehog style, whenever I approached.
- After some investigation, I determined the voice was emanating from a shrub.
- Nearby signs encouraged me to roll at the shrub, which I did.
- The shrub transformed into a monkey clad in a Dickensian attire, which I guess explains the voice. He gave me a mushroom.
- Talked to this Tiny Tim monkey for a bit and he told me he would get me a reward from the cave from which he was expelled.
- I felt bad for guilting him into getting me another reward; I like mushrooms. I sensed some additional trauma there, so I did not prod any further.
- Saw an enormous plant with baby plants around it, looked dangerous. NOPE.
- Saw plenty of the zombie guys, but I didn’t kill any of them. They don’t attack me, and they look like they have enough problems as it is.
- Eventually ran into a zombie guy with a sword, who came at me, so I killed him, and then he turned into a giant bear. NOPE. Tried to outrun him. Made it a fair way across the map, but he eventually caught up to me, and I assume he bit my head off.
- I am now afraid to leave my campsite as it seems instant death awaits in every direction. Maybe I just grind the soldiers until I can kill the bigger soldier?
- I still maintain this game could use an easy mode, on this matter my opinion remains unchanged. The world is dark, twisted, dangerous, but also quirky, funny, and dare I say, whimsical? It’s a shame that you need such a high gamer skill level to experience everything it has to offer.
- Here is Shaw kneeling in a field of giant swords, skittish as a squirrel in a dog park, ready to run at the first sign of danger:
