First of all, it will come as no surprise to anyone that has quested for the Elden Ring, that this world has an unhealthy fixation with fingers. Exhibit A, this crusty old crone who begged for Shaw’s fingers, and probably not to use them in a puppet show.
This led Shaw on a tangent, in which she scoured the web for Elden Ring finger puppets, to no avail. It seemed like such an obvious piece of themed merchandise, that she was frankly dismayed that not a single company or individual, in the 3+ years since the game’s release, had produced such an item. “Someone make me some Elden Ring finger puppets,” she cried into the still night of the Altus Plateau.
In any case, having somewhat satisfied the crone with her smooth, supple fingers, which in the end (lol) had been used for the fairly innocuous purpose of fortune-telling, Shaw went a-wandering, and this is how she met this silent chap, silently fingering the night sky.
Was he pointing at the giant golden glowing tree, visible from everywhere in the Lands Between, much like how the Eiffel Tower is visible from every window of all American-made Paris-set movies released in the past 80 years? Shaw tried asking him, but received no verbal response, as the sun-masked man steadfastly continued to point.
Hadn’t the blind incantationeer mentioned something about a gold-masked fellow? Shaw would ask him.
Now obviously this man did not know Shaw very well, or he would have known that she had no interest in sport or sports, but speaking of interest, a pulchritudinous ghost lady wandered behind as she was conversing to check her out. If only Shaw had noticed her standing there!
Following this mislaid romance opportunity, she returned to the fascinating man with the solar fascinator to see if she had unlocked some sort of new questline. The blind man had wandered over, but it seemed no quest was forthcoming. At least the three of them, all lined up and staring into space made, for an amusing photograph.
Finally, Shaw arrived at a windmill village, carpeted with lovely pink flowers, and replete with filthy dancing ladies laughing maniacally. Most of these maidens did not attack Shaw. Some of them did. Some of them died.
In the end, Shaw went back to searching for adult finger puppets of any kind, but found absolutely nothing. She did fall down a rabbit hole of Muppet videos edited to look like they are singing rap songs, this one was a highlight.
